After my post on “Intellectual Dishonesty” attacking the mentality of gurus was posted — and has received an amazing number of hits and comments — there is one more related point I have to vent.

…and please excuse the very personal aspect of this story.

My late wife, Sheri, was a true leader in the field of intellectual property licensing. For a decade, she helped direct the licensing of the Norman Rockwell art collection, and was one of the first to land deals — such as furniture, home accent pieces, and other innovative products — beyond the typical uses of art such as calendars and framed prints.

She later took a job near Los Angeles, desiring to become more involved with living artists and helping grow their collections and licensing income. While in the office of her new boss – the owner of the company – a brochure in the trashcan caught her eye. Sheri literally pulled the artist’s work from the trash and asked the boss why it was there. When the owner said the artist “did nothing” for her, Sheri asked if she could follow up on it — because she saw great potential.

When Sheri talked with the artist, they immediately hit it off. During the conversation, Sheri learned the artist’s husband is one of the leading business gurus on the planet.

When Sheri’s boss learned of this, she, too, became highly interested in the artist…for a different reason. A trip was scheduled to New England to meet with the artist and begin the representation Sheri had secured. During the trip, Sheri’s new boss told her that…despite the fact Sheri was one of the leaders in the industry…she was not to say a single word unless specifically asked. The boss was going to do all of the talking and take the lead — because she wanted to make an impression upon (and get input from) the guru.

For two full days, Sheri and her boss met with the artist and her guru-husband in their home. For two full days, Sheri said practically nothing. (Those who knew her would realize what an unusual event this was! And, it was the beginning of the end of her relationship with her boss and her company.)

The reason Sheri didn’t contribute? For two solid days, the guru never asked her a single question.

This same guru is famous for writing articles that managers who fail to engage women are idiots, that women control the economy, that leading organizations need to promote women more aggressively, that women-owned businesses succeed more frequently, that women more successfully seek the connectivity required in today’s business environment…you get the idea.

Yet, for over two days this guru sat across the table (with only four people in the room!) from the sharpest woman I’ve ever known, and never once looked her in the eye and asked what SHE thought.

Sheri was devastated. In her heart, because she had read this guy’s rants, she believed she would have an opportunity to state her position on licensing strategy, and her passion for his wife’s work, because he would engage her. He did the opposite.

He failed to model, one-to-one, the behavior he was strident in demanding of others.

When I complain about gurus…it’s not to suggest we don’t need thought leaders disrupting our stale, traditional thinking. It’s not even to suggest that those who give us remarkable insights shouldn’t be rich and famous — in fact, they should!

All I’m asking are two things: First…walk your talk. If you’re preaching it…practice it. If YOU aren’t doing it, you have no right to pontificate that I should.

Second…attempt to appreciate the impact your advice has on real people. I realize everyone makes mistakes…and we can’t please everyone, all the time. However, if you advocate something — like abolishing all big meetings, or creating upheaval in my organization — implementing your advice might cost me my job! At a minimum, please understand the risks you are imploring me to take.

And, if you’re still cashing checks for doing the very thing you are asking me to abhor…we have a problem.

I just don’t think that’s too much to ask. I’ve seen…firsthand…what happens when it doesn’t.

I’m tired of it…bored…and mad as hell.

Strange as it sounds, I’m jaded by all of the talk about disruption. I am angry…because I have come to the conclusion those who focus upon it have become intellectually dishonest, and – frankly – simply lazy and passé.

Just a few days ago, a major blogger wrote that all big meetings should be cancelled. It created a storm of responses…including mine…only to have him release what he called a “punchline” the following day.

Could it have been because the major speakers bureaus that book him for enormous bucks reminded him that “big meetings” bring him “big dollars”? Or, that it might look somewhat disingenuous that he chose to appear on the cover of “Speaker” magazine this very month — discussing his career keynoting the very meetings he was advocating should be abandoned?

Braintraffic.com noted a famed blogger posting “Make Your Corporate Websites Relevant by Integrating Facebook, Google, MySpace, Linked In, or Twitter” — when earlier this very same “guru” posted his opinion that corporate websites were “an unbelievable collection of hyperbole, artificial branding, and pro-corporate content” that utterly failed to support any part of the customer sales lifecycle, and a lost cause.

“Give me a break”…as John Stossel says.

We have developed a plethora of “experts” who really know nothing other than to say our current approaches are wrong. They’re devoid of true experience…they simply know to tell us to “be original” and advise us to become linchpins in some kind of fantasy world that fails to truly exist – especially in today’s challenging economy.

As I wrote in “Collapse of Distinction” – the most creative artists in the world accept – and revel within – the restrictions of their crafts. As trite as it sounds, artists know they need paint and canvas. Novelists need words. Songwriters need notes.

No one starts a sculpture and a song comes out. The true artist understands there are natural – and vital – boundaries they must simultaneously push and respect.

These BS “original thinkers” want us to “blow up” everything…yet even Picasso created his masterpieces within the disciplines of his craft.

Want to be a true visionary? Don’t sacrifice philosophical or intellectual honesty for more hits and followers.

During these challenging times, share with us ideas and insights that will help us grow – personally AND professionally.

Stop trying to create chaos…and help us create results.

It’s the stuff that makes me want to pull my hair out and bang my head against a wall.

Don’t get me wrong…I LOVE American Express’ OPEN Forum for small business. However, just because a well-respected company such as AMEX is sponsoring the site doesn’t mean the advice on it is worthwhile for small — or ANY — size company.

Take, for example, a post several of you have forwarded to me — as incredulous as I when it comes to the advice it presents. It’s titled “How to Stay Ahead of the Competition” written by Adam Hartung, CEO of SparkPartners and author of a book called, “Create Marketplace Disruption.”

I’m certain he’s a terrific guy — however, it would be difficult for me to disagree more with what he advocates in this post.

He writes: “To succeed in today’s rapidly changing world you have to focus more on competitors…”

Uh…NO! As I point out in “Collapse of Distinction,” a primary problem is that organizations and professionals have focused on competitors…when they should be focusing upon CUSTOMERS!

GM went to hell because they worried more about Ford and Toyota than what you wanted to drive. When they finally started listening and engaging customers, they started building some pretty terrific cars. Unfortunately, it’s taking the general public a while to catch up — but, we’ll get there. (GM is reporting improved sales this very day!)

Oh…here’s another of Mr. Hartung’s “Top Ten” — “Don’t ask customers for insight. Customers mostly tell you that they want better, faster, and cheaper. Following customer advice further locks you into the old business and leaves you wide open to competitor attack.”

Uh…no, again. Customers with whom you only have surface-level, transactional encounters will tell you the junk about “better, faster, and cheaper.”

However, when you have created relationships with the people and organizations doing business with you, the insight you can obtain from them is truly remarkable.

Don’t get me wrong — you can’t determine organizational strategy solely based upon customer surveys. However, to make decisions in a vacuum without customer input is ridiculous.

Some of his points are valid: Avoiding cost cutting, running lots of tests, and acquiring lots of outside advice are vitally important for all of us.

However, his final point drives home our divergent perspectives. Hartung writes, “Target your actions at competitors. Don’t just do what you want to do, take actions intended to hurt your competitor. Never miss an opportunity to ruin your competitor’s day.”

I truly disagree.

If we are so intent on ruining our competition’s day, our approach will undoubtably be sensed by our customers. Why not be intent, instead, on MAKING our customer’s days? Let’s focus on taking actions designed to THRILL our customers.

If we take that approach…we’re on our way to creating the kind of distinction that truly disrupts markets.