What to say to a friend in need…

This post will have NOTHING to do with business — however, I hope it helps you in one of the most difficult situations that a friend can encounter.

It’s been a wild trip…from home to Vegas…then Orlando…then, to San Diego…the schedule next called for a trip back to Orlando before returning home. Then, I received the awful, horrible news

A business associate and close friend and colleague had lost her beloved husband in a private plane crash. It’s the worst thing that will ever happen to her…and, obviously, it took me back to when I lost Sheri, my wife of almost twenty-five years in 2005.

I wrote a note to my friend that I want to share with you — because it may help you to hear what a widower might advise someone who has also just tragically lost a spouse.

My dear friend –

There are just no words adequate…I’m sorry beyond my ability to describe.

My heart is breaking for you…to some degree, I know what you are experiencing. It’s more awful than anyone who hasn’t been through it can even imagine…and I can’t comprehend how you must feel right now.

Please know that you have friends who truly love you and care for you and want to be there for you. If there’s a bit of advice I could share, it would be to lean on us.

In the next few weeks, you’re going to hear the stupidest stuff you can imagine. “Stay strong.” “There’s a reason behind this.” “He’s in a better place.”

Bulls**t.

For you…this sucks out loud. It’s the worst thing that will ever, ever happen in your life.

You do not need to stay strong. That’s for later. You don’t need to think there’s a reason right now. That’s for later, too. For now, do not delay nor deny your grief. Get counseling. Talk to friends. Let it out.

And…if I can help…in ANY way possible…call me. 24/7. If you just want to talk with someone who has been in the vicinity of where you are now…I’m here.

You are one of the planet’s most awesome individuals. You are incredible and amazing. I love you — and grieve for what has happened to you. I pray for God to comfort and bless you in the coming months and years.

Scott

I can tell you the name of every person who came to Sheri’s funeral and celebration of life. It’s one of those things you never forget.

The most profound insights came from those friends who just cried and said, “It’s not fair.” — or “I don’t have the words.”

If you have a friend who is struggling…there’s only one thing you need to do.

Be there.

That’s why I left San Diego…flew immediately to Washington, DC…stood in line for a couple of hours. Just so my friend would know she meant SO much to me, there was nowhere else on the planet I should be.

I know.

She had done the same for me.

Will YOU be that kind of friend?