What, exactly, is a “mistake”?

In a little less than an hour from the time I’m writing this, Tiger Woods will make his “apology speech.”

And, while I obviously do not know what will be said, there’s a darn good example of what he SHOULD deliver at CNN from John Kador, author of the book, “Effective Apology: Mending Fences, Building Bridges and Restoring Trust.” (Berrett-Koehler)

Yet, as I was reading the article, a comment by another reader really struck me. Someone labeled only as “Guest” posted: “He really doesn’t need to apologize to anyone but his family, BUT one big thing…this was not a MISTAKE. He knew what he was doing. A mistake is buying 1% milk instead of 2% milk. He made a conscious decision to cheat on his wife and family.”

So…what IS a “mistake” anyway? When we make a mistake in how we treat our customers or colleagues…what do we REALLY mean?

Dictionary.com says a “mistake” is: “an error in action, calculation, opinion, or judgment caused by poor reasoning, carelessness, insufficient knowledge, etc.” A legal dictionary describes the term as: “an unintentional error esp. in legal procedure or form that does not indicate bad faith and that commonly warrants excuse or relief by the court mistake, or irregularity.”

Tiger certainly can’t consider his actions a “mistake” by the legal term…it certainly wasn’t an unintentional error.

When it comes to your business, I believe we need to understand from the customer’s perspective there is a significant degree of difference between a mistake…and being wronged.

If a waitress spills a drink on a customer…that’s a mistake. If you, in a cost-cutting move, have understaffed the restaurant so much that customers aren’t being served promptly…that’s bad business. A simple, quick, and sincere apology works for the former. But, there is much more required in the latter situation.

Customers have a higher perception than we often realize…especially when it comes to their treatment. They have a “sixth sense” about whether what occurred was unintentional and momentary, or is systemic within your organization. If it is perceived their treatment is not a mere mistake, but instead an organizational flaw, they require you to let them know what you’re doing to make things right…and then they want to observe your changes taking place…before they will reevaluate you and your organization more positively.

Whatever Tiger says to the public, to me, is irrelevant. However, I hope he realizes that a mere apology to his friends, associates, and — most importantly — his family, will not be enough.

“Guest” was exactly right. Mistakes deserve apologies. Systemic flaws in behavior, judgement, and actions require one heck of a lot more.

***UPDATE: Tiger’s speech is done. What did YOU think? Was he sincere? Do you feel he is contrite? Is all of this any of our business?

Best (fake) quote of the day: “Americans should now concentrate on the Tiger Woods saga.” –the Chairman of Toyota