After my post on “Intellectual Dishonesty” attacking the mentality of gurus was posted — and has received an amazing number of hits and comments — there is one more related point I have to vent.
…and please excuse the very personal aspect of this story.
My late wife, Sheri, was a true leader in the field of intellectual property licensing. For a decade, she helped direct the licensing of the Norman Rockwell art collection, and was one of the first to land deals — such as furniture, home accent pieces, and other innovative products — beyond the typical uses of art such as calendars and framed prints.
She later took a job near Los Angeles, desiring to become more involved with living artists and helping grow their collections and licensing income. While in the office of her new boss – the owner of the company – a brochure in the trashcan caught her eye. Sheri literally pulled the artist’s work from the trash and asked the boss why it was there. When the owner said the artist “did nothing” for her, Sheri asked if she could follow up on it — because she saw great potential.
When Sheri talked with the artist, they immediately hit it off. During the conversation, Sheri learned the artist’s husband is one of the leading business gurus on the planet.
When Sheri’s boss learned of this, she, too, became highly interested in the artist…for a different reason. A trip was scheduled to New England to meet with the artist and begin the representation Sheri had secured. During the trip, Sheri’s new boss told her that…despite the fact Sheri was one of the leaders in the industry…she was not to say a single word unless specifically asked. The boss was going to do all of the talking and take the lead — because she wanted to make an impression upon (and get input from) the guru.
For two full days, Sheri and her boss met with the artist and her guru-husband in their home. For two full days, Sheri said practically nothing. (Those who knew her would realize what an unusual event this was! And, it was the beginning of the end of her relationship with her boss and her company.)
The reason Sheri didn’t contribute? For two solid days, the guru never asked her a single question.
This same guru is famous for writing articles that managers who fail to engage women are idiots, that women control the economy, that leading organizations need to promote women more aggressively, that women-owned businesses succeed more frequently, that women more successfully seek the connectivity required in today’s business environment…you get the idea.
Yet, for over two days this guru sat across the table (with only four people in the room!) from the sharpest woman I’ve ever known, and never once looked her in the eye and asked what SHE thought.
Sheri was devastated. In her heart, because she had read this guy’s rants, she believed she would have an opportunity to state her position on licensing strategy, and her passion for his wife’s work, because he would engage her. He did the opposite.
He failed to model, one-to-one, the behavior he was strident in demanding of others.
When I complain about gurus…it’s not to suggest we don’t need thought leaders disrupting our stale, traditional thinking. It’s not even to suggest that those who give us remarkable insights shouldn’t be rich and famous — in fact, they should!
All I’m asking are two things: First…walk your talk. If you’re preaching it…practice it. If YOU aren’t doing it, you have no right to pontificate that I should.
Second…attempt to appreciate the impact your advice has on real people. I realize everyone makes mistakes…and we can’t please everyone, all the time. However, if you advocate something — like abolishing all big meetings, or creating upheaval in my organization — implementing your advice might cost me my job! At a minimum, please understand the risks you are imploring me to take.
And, if you’re still cashing checks for doing the very thing you are asking me to abhor…we have a problem.
I just don’t think that’s too much to ask. I’ve seen…firsthand…what happens when it doesn’t.
One more on gurus…
March 9, 2010 · 7 comments
After my post on “Intellectual Dishonesty” attacking the mentality of gurus was posted — and has received an amazing number of hits and comments — there is one more related point I have to vent.
…and please excuse the very personal aspect of this story.
My late wife, Sheri, was a true leader in the field of intellectual property licensing. For a decade, she helped direct the licensing of the Norman Rockwell art collection, and was one of the first to land deals — such as furniture, home accent pieces, and other innovative products — beyond the typical uses of art such as calendars and framed prints.
She later took a job near Los Angeles, desiring to become more involved with living artists and helping grow their collections and licensing income. While in the office of her new boss – the owner of the company – a brochure in the trashcan caught her eye. Sheri literally pulled the artist’s work from the trash and asked the boss why it was there. When the owner said the artist “did nothing” for her, Sheri asked if she could follow up on it — because she saw great potential.
When Sheri talked with the artist, they immediately hit it off. During the conversation, Sheri learned the artist’s husband is one of the leading business gurus on the planet.
When Sheri’s boss learned of this, she, too, became highly interested in the artist…for a different reason. A trip was scheduled to New England to meet with the artist and begin the representation Sheri had secured. During the trip, Sheri’s new boss told her that…despite the fact Sheri was one of the leaders in the industry…she was not to say a single word unless specifically asked. The boss was going to do all of the talking and take the lead — because she wanted to make an impression upon (and get input from) the guru.
For two full days, Sheri and her boss met with the artist and her guru-husband in their home. For two full days, Sheri said practically nothing. (Those who knew her would realize what an unusual event this was! And, it was the beginning of the end of her relationship with her boss and her company.)
The reason Sheri didn’t contribute? For two solid days, the guru never asked her a single question.
This same guru is famous for writing articles that managers who fail to engage women are idiots, that women control the economy, that leading organizations need to promote women more aggressively, that women-owned businesses succeed more frequently, that women more successfully seek the connectivity required in today’s business environment…you get the idea.
Yet, for over two days this guru sat across the table (with only four people in the room!) from the sharpest woman I’ve ever known, and never once looked her in the eye and asked what SHE thought.
Sheri was devastated. In her heart, because she had read this guy’s rants, she believed she would have an opportunity to state her position on licensing strategy, and her passion for his wife’s work, because he would engage her. He did the opposite.
When I complain about gurus…it’s not to suggest we don’t need thought leaders disrupting our stale, traditional thinking. It’s not even to suggest that those who give us remarkable insights shouldn’t be rich and famous — in fact, they should!
All I’m asking are two things: First…walk your talk. If you’re preaching it…practice it. If YOU aren’t doing it, you have no right to pontificate that I should.
Second…attempt to appreciate the impact your advice has on real people. I realize everyone makes mistakes…and we can’t please everyone, all the time. However, if you advocate something — like abolishing all big meetings, or creating upheaval in my organization — implementing your advice might cost me my job! At a minimum, please understand the risks you are imploring me to take.
And, if you’re still cashing checks for doing the very thing you are asking me to abhor…we have a problem.